June 8, 2011

A Fluke or Fact?

I have lost about 3 pounds in the past 2.5 weeks!!!! I'm so incredibly thrilled, but I'm also hesitant to believe that it's true fat loss. It could simply be a fluke, so I'm trying not to get too excited by it, but the number on the scale has been lower than it has been in quite some time!
Even with my body normally fluctuating about 2-5 pounds, my weight has stayed consistent for the past several days, so I'm excited about it! I hope it continues!

My New Blog About Inner & Outer Simplicity!

Hi all!
Please check out my new blog about appreciating & achieving inner and outer simplicity in life, at www.mylsquaredlife.blogspot.com!
I have already mentioned this new blog in a recent post, but I wanted to direct you to it once again. Thanks for reading here, and I hope you also enjoy reading about "My Lovely Little Life"!

June 6, 2011

The Secret Ingredient.....Water?????

So I'm going to vent just a little bit here.
I was recently reading Oxygen magazine, which is a female hard-core fitness and weight-lifting magazine. The cover model, a extremely fit woman who was bordering on being scary-buff, was asked in an interview to share her "#1 secret" to looking so great, and she replied, "I drink tons of water!"
Water?!? That's her serious, honest-to-goodness answer to why she looks so fabulous & fit?
I wish she just would've said the truth, instead of watering it down for me (pun intended).
The truth: this woman has incredible genes, a Speedy Gonzales-like metabolism, is insanely strict about every morsel she eats, and works her butt off in the gym everyday. She works out like it's her job, because let's face it; it is! And she's a model, so she's already beautiful and has "that look" to her.
But yet she says drinking water is her secret? Water did not give her that body, that's for darn sure!
Here's proof: If I drank tons of water everyday, would I look like her? At all?
Um, no I think not.
I may have less bloating and may lose a few pounds from the sheer amount of bathroom runs I'd be doing, but would I look like I gained 15 pounds of muscle and lost 30 pounds of fat? I wish!
Of course drinking plenty of water and staying hydrated, especially if you're physically active, is a great idea, and your body does need plenty of water to function. But getting fit from drinking water?
Girl, please!

My Link Isn't Working!

Well, for some reason the link to my new blog is not working, but this is the address, which you'll just have to type into your address bar.

My New Blog About the Simple, "Small" Life!

Hi all!
I'm excited to introduce my new blogging endeavor, "My Lovely Little Life" Blog right here on Blogger.com!
Go here: www.mylsquaredlife.blogspot.com
I have been pondering some ideas lately, and when I connected them in my mind, they became a cohesive line of thought, about living a "simple" life.
I have decided that I love the words "simple", "small", and "little" when referring to my life. I know that usually these terms could be construed negatively, but I am here to offer the idea that maybe these are/can be positive terms when referring to one's life.
For example, I have been trying to live a "simple" life lately, by emptying my mind of regret, guilt, self-loathing, resentment, disappointment, and fear. Fear is a big one for me, because I have so many unanswered and unfulfilled prayers. I catch myself thinking, "I trust God, but what if? What if He chooses not to answer my prayers for another year or so? What if He says "Wait"?"
God telling me to "wait" for a while longer is not a death sentence for my dreams; it's not a "no" answer, and it's not a reason to be afraid. I know these things, but I routinely forget and become fearful.
Our messages at church recently have been about mental & emotional health, and learning to let go of past hurts, and release any resentment, anger, or bitterness we may be harboring against someone who has done us wrong in the past.
But I thought it a good idea in my life to take this one step further, and to release any bitterness, guilt, & disappointment I have with myself! I am truly my own worst critic, and tend to be very hard on myself.
So I've been doing lots of "spring cleaning" of my thoughts, my inner attitudes, and my own self image, forgiving myself for past mistakes, and releasing guilt I still carry around.
This is, of course, a continual, daily practice, and not a one-time gesture. This is a practice that I will have to work at everyday for it to become a habit.
So no more negativity, especially against myself!
Instead, I'm going to learn to focus on the positives, the blessings, and the good things in my life. This actually simplifies my life, because it simplifies my thoughts and my emotional reactions to them. This is my first example of how I'm simplifying my life, or making my life smaller.
I hope to talk much more about focusing on how I've been blessed, and how great my life is, even when things go wrong, or my prayers go unanswered.
Tune in for more soon, and thanks so much for reading! I'd love to hear any comments you have.

June 4, 2011

Disappointment, Hoping for Deliverance

It's been an incredibly long time since I wrote here. I do not have the Internet at home, so I only have access to it at a coffee shop, which is where I am now.
My last post, a few months ago, was about me going off of the Depo-Provera birth control shot and starting Yaz birth control pills. I have recently decided to stop taking Yaz as well. There are a few reasons for this, but first & foremost is because I have continued to gain weight, even with eating around 2,000 (or less) calories a day, and exercising at least 3 days a week.
My husband & I decided that I would go off of Yaz altogether, and use "other" methods of contraceptive, which for us means spermicide in-conjunction with condoms. So don't anybody go getting excited; we're definitely not ready or trying to have children yet! :)
I now weigh 191 pounds--the most I've ever weighed in my life. Ever. This fact disappoints and devastates me, because I desperately want to be a slender, fit, muscular, active person!
While still on the Depo, late last year, I began going to a nearby community center, which housed a gym with free weights, weight machines, and cardio machines like ellipticals and treadmills. It was a cheap membership ($20 for 3 months!) and close to my house, so it was perfect.
I began going to the gym last September, and went almost every day, for about 1.5 hours each day. I typically did cardio and weights, although some days I only did one or the other, and I always alternated which muscles I worked on each day, giving my muscles at least 24-48 hours before working them again.
I really gave it my all while at the gym, and felt like I was working my butt off. If only I literally was! But I wasn't. My butt, like the rest of me, didn't budge.
This helped me not gain any more weight, however, and so I stayed at around 185 pounds during this time. I really wanted to train for the Flying Pig Marathon that happened in May, so I decided to step up my training. However, it didn't happen. Here's why.
The gym had only 2 treadmills, and one has been broken the entire time I've had a membership. And the other one was almost always in use when I got there, and for the entire time I was there. So I began using the elliptical for as much cardio conditioning as I could get. I would typically be on the elliptical for 45 minutes to 1 hour at a time, really working up a sweat. I certainly got a workout on the elliptical, but it wasn't the same as running.
So I attended the gym from late September to May, and never lost a single pound. My gym membership expired, and I couldn't bring myself to spend another $20 (that I really didn't have) on a gym membership when I was experiencing such a lack of motivation and disappointment. It was 8 months, people. Eight months of no weight loss, no noticeable muscle gains, no noticeable increase in endurance. I was desperately hoping to completely change my body in 8 months, which is plenty of time to make at least some drastic changes, and instead, I was still the exact same. And, I realized that since I have a treadmill at home, I could save myself $20 and just go back to doing most of my exercising at home.
It was been almost 3 months since I stopped taking Yaz, and I occasionally jog & walk on my treadmill at home. I do body-weight exercises (push-ups, plank, crunches, stability ball stuff, back exercises, etc.) on my living room floor every other day.
I am still so disappointed in myself, in my lack of weight loss, in the fact that I am again gaining weight. Oh yes, I have gained about 6 pounds in a little over 1 month, even which light-moderate exercise and eating between 1,600-1,900 calories a day. I bought a detailed food journal, and have been trying to keep my calorie intake around 1,600 calories a day. I am hoping to finally see some fat loss, but I'm not holding my breath. It's like I'm gaining weight and there's nothing I can do to stop it!
I am convinced (and I hope that I'm right about this) that it's the hormones from the Depo & Yaz still in my system, that has made me gain so much weight and prevents me from losing it. I hope & pray that these hormones leave my body soon, although I've heard that it can take up to a year or two for them to finally exit the body.
So here I am, knowing that I could do a bit more, but so disappointed from all this that I am just trying to do what I can.